I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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