And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
