So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
