Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
