i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Randomize
