Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
