i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
