party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
