"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
