based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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