Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
