It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
