im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
do nipples grow back?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
