I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
