i just google imaged poop.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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