billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
