there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
