Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
