She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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