Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
