I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
