I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
