I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
