The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
