the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
