My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
