I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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