then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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