what day is it and did you see me today?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
