We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
