As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We're not piercing ourselves today.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
