Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
