We won't sleep together?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
