My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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