i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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