I heard we made out
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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