You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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