You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Swine flu. Run for my life!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The air was thick with penises
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
