Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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