forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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