So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
