Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
