please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
