OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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