you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
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