So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
