I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
