I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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