you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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