I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
